Saturday, November 30, 2013

Coloring Pencils

My mom is crying and my sister's upset, but I don't care. I don't friggin care. I just want to get away from the both of them. I don't want to hear their stupid excuses, like SCREW YOU. SCREW BOTH OF YOU FOR NOT HONORING MY PERMISSION. I don't want to talk to either of you until I've calmed down. Stop playing the victim, jeez. I am so done with all of this. Leave me alone. I clearly am not in the mood to make up with either of you.

What was the grave offense they committed? They took one of my precious possessions and used it even after I made it clear to my sister not to touch it. But no, she had to go to my mom and tell her that we did not have any other pencils of that color, and show her my set of color pencils when I wasn't around NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT I JUST TOLD HER NEVER TO USE THEM. And my dear sweet mother who was aware that I didn't like it when people used my things without permission? My dear sweet mother told her to go ahead and use them.

After this discovery, I found out that this wasn't a one time thing. Oh, no. They'd been using my pencils way before my sister even asked me. My sister used my precious coloring pencils on three different occasions. And they didn't even tell me.

SCREW BOTH OF YOU. I'm trying really hard not to swear right now but I AM JUST DONE WITH ALL OF THIS. I AM FURIOUS. I would've ripped and crumpled my sister's artwork and punched her in the face if I didn't control myself. Why didn't I? Aside from it being the wrong thing to do, I'd have ended up looking like the bad guy. My parents would've told me that I was selfish because that's how it always goes. I'M ALWAYS THE VILLAIN. And now, even when I've learned to control myself, somehow I'm still the petty one who can't get over a few coloring pencils. Somehow my mother has to start crying and sobbing in front of me because it hurts her.

Well, I'm not talking to either of you. That set of pencils wasn't just something I bought at the bookstore. It was a token from a cousin of mine last prom. They were given to me because she was symbolically passing over her creativity and ability to draw and that meant a freaking big deal. I loved these pencils, and wanted them to always stay in the condition as on the night i received them.

TOO BAD, BEA. Now, not only have they been used, one of the pencils is missing. And neither of my family members had the decency to apologize.

So, dear sweet mother and sister, SUCK YOUR TEARS BECAUSE I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH ANY OF YOUR EXCUSES ANY LONGER. I'm not asking for much. Just leave me alone until I get over this.

Xoxo
Bea