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Saturday, January 11, 2014

Selfish

I haven't seen you
for some time.
Calendars have changed,
clouds have formed,
days have passed,
and memories have faded.

And yet,

when I chanced upon you today,
I was overcome with
a pressing sense of sadness
and yearning.

Thirst.

But nothing more.
Because I should not.
And I cannot.

But I wished that
you'd reached out
and given me an excuse
to do it regardless.

Because I am selfish that way.

Bleurgh. I'm sorry. I'm so bad at poems. Seriously. But I had to get this off my chest.
xoxo
Bea

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

If you're at the verge of giving into suicide/drugs/alcohol/sex...

A friend of mine honestly scares the heck out of me. She's been absent from class for two days in a row now, and while her best friend tells me that she's just sick, I have reason to believe otherwise. I visited her tumblr page and saw, like, a wall of reblogs- all of them pictures and posts of alcohol, drugs, and people partying excessively. Also, a lot of f*ck you world posts. In between these reblogs, of course, are some of her own text posts, and none of them deny my suspicions.

She seemed to be, psychologically, in a really bad state right now. And by really bad state, I mean suicidal. As a friend, this terrifies me more than anything- the possibility of her ending her own life and cutting herself short of all of the proper things she could have experienced. Teen suicide, of course, is a real tragedy because 12-19 years of life experience isn't really... a lot in the long run.

Assuming a person lives up to 40, that would be less than half of his life. If he reaches 70, 19 years would be about a third of that. Think about it: So many things could happen in a half or two-thirds of someone's lifetime. Suicide and young death cheats everyone of their future and potential happiness.

So please, friend, don't do it.

And don't get into drugs or smoking or partying because these things are quite addictive. Here's the deal: There's nothing wrong with being attracted to that kind of thing (or crowd, if you're talking about partying). Don't feel ashamed of being curious and getting the urge to try them. Heck, we're all humans. We're all naturally drawn to the things that harm us the most, aren't we? That being said, most of us aren't good at controlling ourselves, and most of us get addicted pretty easily. And when drugs, alcohol, and even sex start taking over our lives, well, that's where the real problem begins. Because living off these substances will only make things worse. Using them to forget our problems, if only momentarily, won't make these problems go away. Drugs will eat away your life; consume it like a fire. The flames may be pretty, but they'll be the end of you.

Another thing: Please open up to others, because we really do care. Sometimes, we just don't want to be annoying, much less know how to get you to talk. We do care, and we want to help you with your problems, but you have to open up to us first, otherwise it isn't in our place to give you advice.

Life is so precious, but it can also be like living hell. You're alone in this suffering. I honestly believe that everyone else feels alone (I sure have, and it isn't obvious at all). Nobody is as happy as they let on. Don't give up on your chance at happiness. Keep fighting, because you'll get there someday.

Thank you,
Invisible friend.

This blog doesn't really get a lot of hits, but I hope this post reaches the people who need to be reached. We all go through horrible things in life, don't let your story end there. Tomorrow will be better.

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

XOXO
Bea