Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Rare Moments of Uncertainty

I don't know. I can't understand how I ever let this happen. It's always been me. I've always been one of the arrogant people who are always right and who know what they're good at. It was supposed to be me. And now it's her. Not that I hold anything against her. I was my fault. My stupid belief that things would go well. And, if you read between the thoughts, my stupid belief that I could do anything. Hubris, if you must. In my arrogance, I fell.

I smile and pretend it's nothing- to the extent that I've even fooled myself. But who am I kidding? It was mine for the taking and it slipped past me. I'm sad and confused and mad at myself at the same time.

Stupid, stupid, stupid girl.

Not that I won't ever get over this. Of course I will. But this incident will definitely be remembered as one of the rare occasions in which I doubted myself; in which I, the perfectionist, failed.

Xoxo
Bea

Ps: This has nothing to do with romance or anything of that sort. Far from it, actually.