Positivity To Pass Around

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. I CAN FREAKING DO THIS.
Breathe, Bea, breathe.

You. can. You can.

JUST BELIEVE AND YOU CAN AND NOTHING WILL EVER STOP YOU.

Not making sense, am I?

Just.... please happen, and please please please happen.

xoxo :|
Bea

Bea's Christmas List (2012)

1.) Sonic Screwdriver
2.) Bow tie
3.) Suspenders (I seriously, seriously want some!)
4.) Harry Potter Lego (preferably Hogwarts)
5.) One Direction tickets (Ha! Fat chance!)
6.) One Republic or Paramore album
7.) 50+ reviews
8.) Pogo-stick (yes, still wishing on that.)
9.) Nerd glasses (NEED! :D )
10.) Fez (how could I forget?!)
11.) Jollibee street kids to be okay.

Obviously, my Doctor Who addiction has affected this year's christmas list greatly :P.

I want girls to look at mirrors and say, "Hello Gorgeous"

Because you are. Everyone is. Don't ever allow anyone to step over you and tell you otherwise because they're lying.

Smile and do what makes you happy. Remember that someone out there is experiencing the same things you are, and someone out there knows exactly how you feel.

Don't let their opinions get to you. Repeat this blog's mantra again and again until it's drilled properly in your head. Frame it if you have to.

You don't need perfect skin or a slim figure to be beautiful.

Be positive.

XOXO
Bea

Sembreak Has Begun

I'm freeeeeeeeeeee.

Free like a butterfly!
I literally pranced around my house, running to empty rooms and screaming "I'm freeeeeeeee" before everything went down and the house lost power.

I spent the entire afternoon trying to find ways to entertain myself and not die because one can only live without technology for so long. Worst of all, my ipod touch and laptop batteries died and I had nothing but an old Nokia phone to keep me busy (not that I hate it, of course. I wouldn't trade my 3 year old phone for all the smartphones in the world). Ironic, because I have NO texting life. Zero. Zippo. Dead.

After jumping around the house (yet again) and venting out my frustration in general, I... well... tried to keep myself busy.

With the piano.

And after that, I went biking. It's been a really long time since I last rode a bike. I'd forgotten how wonderful the feeling is-- the feeling of wind drifting through your face and letting it set your hair free. And you sit on the bike, feeling like you can conquer the world and nothing can stop you if they tried. But because it's been a year (a year!) since I last rode a bike and half a year since I last got decent exercise, the biking drained me.

Next up, I decided to read Artemis Fowl. The funny thing about me and Artemis Fowl is that I've always tried to read it a day before a trip. I never get through the first part because I find it utterly boring (sue me!) and by the time I've (probably) finished the 'boring' part, I've already bought new books that will have kept me entertained and I end up forgetting about it. Yes, I'm going on a trip tomorrow. The cycle repeats.

After that, I watched my brother play minecraft, singing a Harry Potter song and freaking him out.

And the power finally, finally came back. About time, too. My brother and I yelled at the same time and I was like, "I LIVED THROUGH IT!"

And everything's been good. :)

xoxo
Bea

The Rare Moments of Uncertainty

I don't know. I can't understand how I ever let this happen. It's always been me. I've always been one of the arrogant people who are always right and who know what they're good at. It was supposed to be me. And now it's her. Not that I hold anything against her. I was my fault. My stupid belief that things would go well. And, if you read between the thoughts, my stupid belief that I could do anything. Hubris, if you must. In my arrogance, I fell.

I smile and pretend it's nothing- to the extent that I've even fooled myself. But who am I kidding? It was mine for the taking and it slipped past me. I'm sad and confused and mad at myself at the same time.

Stupid, stupid, stupid girl.

Not that I won't ever get over this. Of course I will. But this incident will definitely be remembered as one of the rare occasions in which I doubted myself; in which I, the perfectionist, failed.

Xoxo
Bea

Ps: This has nothing to do with romance or anything of that sort. Far from it, actually.

I've been reading my last post

And siriusly, I sound like this... emotional hippie. lol. Spread the love~
Anyway, It's the first day of school.
I might do a post about it later. After I do a Perks-Of-Being-A-Wallflower-Appreciation One.
Later.
Besides, I'm a bit preoccupied with writing right now.

To my non-existent readers, I love you very much for putting up with the crap I write (Yes. I can't believe I just swore!)

Just a note. :)

XOXO
Bea

The End Of Summer

It's 1:30 am right now, and I just decided that I want to blog. About what? I don't know yet, but there was this sudden urge that took me, and I knew that i had to act on it. This is probably a bad idea (very bad indeed), because we will have to get up at 5:00am tomorrow... or later in this case... but there has always been this careless rebel within me who doesn't pay attention to the consequences, and thinks impulsively (and it's rather contradictory to what people perceive me to be. Yes, they think I am this goody-two-shoes rich kid, which, in some aspects, I might be. But to think of ME as a purely girly goody-goody who is scared of the rules is wrong. Very wrong. Those people don't know me). Anyway, I am using an itouch right now, so sorry in advance for any typos, etc.

Summer has turned me into an insomniac. It made me nocturnal. It gave me so many new experiences, and made me discover myself more. In my last blog post, I wrote about my summer plans, and what was going to happen after summer... and now, summer is only a week from ending. School's starting. It makes me slightly sad to think about this. But it also makes me excited. I realized somewhere along the days of summer, that I loved my classmates. We are the most rebellious class in High School (my teachers would assure you that), but we genuinely care for and love each other. They freaking cared about me, and I really did miss every single person in my class (except for two annoying guys, but I don't want to go into detail about them).

I went to a summer enrichment program. What was so bad about it was that everyone, and I mean everyone else, were classmates from another school and knew each other. I was the odd one out. And it isn't because they were a bunch of mean kids that I felt lonely, awkward, etc.. It was because they were strangers-- strangers who knew each other, and people from a class that wasn't mine. They probably thought I was really soft and nice... extremely shy... and a bit snotty. They didn't know the real me. They didn't make me comfortable. (But I did meet one or two people who had the same vibes as I did, and those were the real friends I made.)

My summer was fun... Really short, but fun. I didn't do everything I wanted to, but honestly, could anyone have?

It gave me the time to enrich myself, do things I genuinely wanted to do, improve the things I am good at.

Summer Bea had a blast, and I hope she stays with me forever. And... Though it wasn't as long as I wanted it to be... I thank summer for a lot of things--- mainly, for helping me rediscover myself in ways I had never imagined.

I really do have to sleep now... It's 2:05 AM... And my parents will kill me if they wake up and find me still awake.

I've got three hours of sleep left.

I'll survive.

Xoxo
Bea