Toxic

Brother,
the love you keep
is toxic.
And from a mile away
I watch,
scowling as you suffocate
in the fumes.

But time and time again,
you return
to that barren wasteland,
that hollow trunk
for somehow you hope
no, believe-
in a long extinguished star.

To me,
you are simply foolish;
desperate.
But perhaps it is I who is
blind and silly
for I am unable to gaze past the smoke
and see the embers within.

Selfish

I haven't seen you

for some time.

Calendars have changed,

clouds have formed,

days have passed,

and memories have faded.

And yet,

when I chanced upon you today,

I was overcome with

a pressing sense of sadness

and yearning.

Thirst.

But nothing more.

Because I should not.

And I cannot.

But I wished that

you'd reached out

and given me an excuse

to do it regardless.

Because I am selfish that way.

Bleurgh. I'm sorry. I'm so bad at poems. Seriously. But I had to get this off my chest.

xoxo

Bea

Survivor

I am sad

devastated

worried

afraid

restless

and above all

guilty

because I am okay

and my friends might be

sad

devastated

afraid

restless

and above all

dead.

Rain rain

Rain rain
Don't go away
Stay with me
I don't want to play

You see
I don't feel well
very much
Or
I don't feel well
at all.

Please stay with me
when no one else can see
the troubles or my pleas.

xoxo
Bea

Sadness Among The Blissful

How can one be so lonely and adored?

Remembered and forgotten?

So close yet so distant?

Constant and changing?

Bright and dim?

Laid out and mysterious?

Obscure but apparent?

So high and low?

Following you around but unreachable?

xoxo

Bea

Senseless

Don't doubt.
Just shout.
For a reason.
This season.
Shut up.
Please not.
Just...
Must...
I'm sorry.
Don't worry.
Not crazy.
Simply shaky.
This poem.
Makes perfect sense.

xoxo
Bea