Please Rewind and Stop

You know what, I friggin miss you. I miss seeing you everyday, hearing your voice. Nine months is a long time. I don't know how I'll be able to survive that. I just... it's hard. I go to school everyday and end up staring at corners, thinking of you. Screw you. Sometimes I get along with my classmates, and I think, hey, this isn't so bad, but a few days later, I realize that they will never compare to you. Not ever. It's different. They know me, but not well enough. Anyway, I keep getting sad and shiz, and I don't know how to turn it off. I want to see you again, talk to you. I miss those times. I miss you. :(

You as a collective word. :P
One of those ranty nights.

XOXO
Bea

Since all I've been writing these past few days/weeks/months were dramatic, emotional stuff...

I think it's time for a light post.

Here's my 16th birthday cake. Twas such a surprise 

Weeeeee~ :)

In other news, being Student Council president is hard work... I ain't got no free time no more. :(

Oh well... I signed up for this, and I guess it wouldn't feel right if I don't have a lot of things to do... I wouldn't feel very accomplished.

Yeah... gonna keep pretending I'm fifteen. x)

I'm not that old, am I?

xoxo

Bea

You Know What Broke My Heart Today?

It was the sight of green paint that had peeled off in some areas a long time ago; the sound of a love song playing on the radio a few houses away; the smell of food cooked a few hours past. It was the realization that a lot of people in the world work harder than I or my parents ever do or ever will and yet here they are, struggling to support themselves and their families, and here we are, complaining about our beds being too stiff, or our food not being delicious enough.

Tsk.
(written last Sunday)

XOXO
Bea

Sweet

It's dusk and I lay on my bed, staring at the window. It's that time of the day again yet I am not sad. I look at the pale blue sky I've always tried to avoid; somehow, it does not depress me today. Rather, excitement builds up on my chest and I wait for nighttime to come. It's a foreign feeling, and I'm not sure what to think of it yet.

They gather around me smiling, joyous and far more excited than I am. This surprises me, but it's a pleasant experience and one that doesn't come so often. I've been accustomed to a dull and mundane world, and this day should have flew by like any other.

It's weird, different, wonderful-- so, so wonderful when something like this happens. As I get up, I realize that it's night. I head downstairs and watch the moon and stars come into full view.

The cake is sweet.

XOXO
Bea

To The Best Summer Ever!

Honestly though, I don't know what to say.
I'm soooo thankful for this summer. I still can't understand how the heck I got in.
But I did. God's grace, I think. :)

It's hard to sum up the entire experience. I can't say much because my friends are stalkers and I do not want them to uncover this blog.

But it is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I am so, so, so thankful.

Friends, Wisdom, Insights, Experiences, Everything.

XOXO
Bea

Alone

Then again, there are people who compare. These people are not in my batch.
Most of them have graduated.
I am alone...

Oh well.

XOXO
Bea

No Comparison

The thing is, these people I've known my entire life... will never compare to the people I've met this summer. I've tried looking at the brighter side of things, tried believing that they are just as awesome, but... they aren't.
Well, maybe they are. They're cool in their own little way, but not in a way that fits me.
We are different people. I can never go back to my old life... not after this summer experience.
I will always compare both sets of friends... and my old ones don't compare.

So dramatic. lol.

XOXO
Bea